Me on my 25th birthday.
I turned 25 this year and I had a bit of a quarter life crisis. I felt like I didn’t know what I was doing and I was looking for advice on how to navigate this crazy adventure that is my 20’s. So for my birthday I asked my family to write a letter to themselves…
Be bold enough to use your voice, brave enough to listen to your heart, and strong enough to live the life you’ve always imagined.
Recently life has taken quite the turn and now it’s time to tell my story. I haven’t blogged in SO LONG, but here we go again. Little by little I will share my story with you and I can only hope that it will inspire you and encourage you to live life freely, from the center of your true self (and don’t worry, my story will still include fashion, travel, and my adventures around LA). I digress.
Funny thing is… the day of my last blog post was the beginning of the end. The last chapter of that portion of my life started that day and it ended in May. Since May, I have been loved back to life and it has been an amazing journey that I will be forever thankful for. What is to come is real and raw, and it’s dark at times; but it ends with so much light.
ONCE UPON A TIME…
My opinions weren’t fully my own. They were these tainted versions of the way I saw the world and the people around me. I judged the books I read, the news stories I heard, and the actions of others by the scale of a man and his opinion of any given situation.
I took every ounce of free will that God gave to me and chose to place it into the hands of another human. Or monster? That one is debatable.
Truth was a word that I avoided. It wasn’t a place that I wanted to visit and it surely wasn’t something that I lived by. I hid so well from my truth, that it took 32 years to find me. But once it found me, it pierced my soul so deeply that living it became my passion and my focus. It began to fuel me in ways that I can’t even put into words.
Life became clear, love became real, friends became true. Forgiveness, reconciliation, mercy, and grace were experienced. Authenticity actually meant something to me. Secrets were no longer allowed.
The life that I lived was a direct reflection of the choices that I made. I chose to give up freedom. I chose to deny truth. I chose not to reflect God, but to reflect man.
I am not my past.
Today… I’ve taken back my freedom, I’ve decided to let truth permeate my life, I choose to (try to?) reflect the heart of God and not that of a man. I choose my future.
I will not be held down or held back.
I will speak up when you are wrong.
I will love when it is right.
I will be me.
I will live FREE